Fall is right around the corner. Usually that means we’re looking at hungry fish, gigantic schools, and 30 fish days. But – on that rare occasion that you come home empty handed, we decided to go ahead a compile a list of the best excuses for a day on the water.
Too Hot – Let’s start here. Too hot means less oxygen in the water. Less oxygen, the fish can’t breathe. Fish can’t breathe, they don’t feed as well. Too hot is a legitimate excuse.
Too Cold – In my home waters, cold can turn off the bite – snook, for one, get lethargic when the water temp drops into the 50’s.
Too Many Fish – this doesn’t sound like a valid excuse, on the surface, but hear me out: maybe the fact that there are too many tarpon means they are interested in spawning and not feeding? Or maybe you can’t pick one out to catch? If there was one lazy redfish edging along the flat, surely you’d catch him; but a gigantic school? Way more chance to spook them (this excuse is for professionals only – don’t try this on your wife if you’ve been married more than 3 years)
No Fish – self explanatory. They were here this morning. They were here yesterday. Sometimes they just vanish.
Wrong Bait – you’ve got livewells loaded down with greenbacks, finger mullet, and shrimp; by law, the fish will ONLY want pinfish that day. This is an immutable law of fishing.
Boat Trouble – We allow a “broad” definition of boat trouble as it pertains to a fishing excuse – sure, a motor blowing up is a valid reason for coming home empty handed; however, I allow all sorts of things to fall into this category. To wit: Power-pole issue? “We would’ve caught them, but using a regular anchor caused all sorts of issues” . . . Fish finder doesn’t work? Valid excuse. Broken push pole holder? Valid excuse. Lose hinge on storage locker? Very valid excuse.
Tackle Problems – here we go . . . Your rod or reel breaks? That’s absolutely a tackle problem. But don’t sleep on how creative we can get here – technically, if you break a line on a fish/oyster/mangrove, it is, by definition, a tackle problem. Boom! You’re welcome!
Your Fishing Buddy – Your fishing buddy’s primary purpose is to provide you a built in excuse for terribly unproductive fishing trips . . . That said, you have to remember that he is given the same freedom to use you as an excuse in the same manner. This means that both of you have exclusive circles of friends judging how bad of a fisherman you both are. It’s a heady tapestry of deception, but worth it if you’re desperate.
The Tides weren’t right – I have to be careful with this, since I usually schedule the trip and pick the tides. That said, lots of things can mess with the tide, like wind (mostly just wind) . . . They can slow a tide down or speed it up. This needs to be used sparingly, but it’s good for an occasional slow trip.
The fish weren’t biting – Don’t go to this well too often. It’s the chocolate chip cookie of excuses. It’s easy and comfortable. But if you eat chocolate chip cookies all day, every day, you will eventually come to doubt the chocolate chip cookies.
Too many boats – Easy. I save this for any holiday weekend, or really any weekend. Probably one of the more legitimate excuses you can use, as tarpon tend to get lockjaw after being run over by 6000 boats and jet skis
Forgot my lucky hat – Call me crazy, but I have a lucky hat AND a lucky shirt. It’s so bad that I will bring them ON the boat just in case the fishing is bad. Why wear a different hat or shirt? Because what if one of my new ones is also lucky? I can’t run that kind of risk, you know?
Someone brought bananas on the boat – Are bananas bad luck? I don’t know for sure. I do know that I’m not going to risk it. You’ve paid for a charter. The captain specifically tells you “no bananas on board.” And you decide to see if it’s true by smuggling bananas on board. You then proceed to spend the next 4 hours watching every boat around you catch fish after fish while you’re boat only produces 2 catfish, the 2nd of which somehow stabs his barb completely through the guides shoe; the guide howls in pain and asks you to drive him to the emergency room but the boat won’t start. You trolling motor back to the ramp only to find that someone has siphoned the gas from your vehicles and they won’t start. The guides entire leg is now purple and he’s slurring words like a sailor on a 3 day shore leave. It’s at this point that you turn to your buddy and say “hmmm – maybe we shouldn’t have brought the bananas after all.”
There you have it – 13 ironclad excuses for a fishless day on the water. What did we miss? What excuses do you use? Tag a buddy that always seems to have an excuse ready (unless it’s me!) . . .
