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Man steals pythons, proceeds to shove it down his pants

A customer of A to Z Pets put on quite the show for security cameras and a certain black pastel ball python in Portland, Oregon, when he decided that the only logical way to get this snake home was to shove it right down his pants. This guy didn’t even hesitate, look for yourself:

Despite being responsible for one of the most pun-worthy thefts in recent history and creating enough material for an episode of Portlandia, the pet shop owner, Christin Bjugan, isn’t happy, stating, “he’s lucky it wasn’t feeding day.”

Indeed he is. Although, if he’d been driven to the point that shoving a snake down his pants seemed like the only possible option, he probably wouldn’t have let that stop him.

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